Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Randomize
