I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I wish i was in the wii world.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
