It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
