Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
