i don't like sucking hair
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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