he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
3pm strippers are depressing
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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