when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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