a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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