By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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