OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
