morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
