I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
