exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
