Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
