i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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