But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
