Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
