you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
