Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
