will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
