oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
