return my video game
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
