when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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