3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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