Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
