I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
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he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
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don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize