wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
