i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
