What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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