My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
