he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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