Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
