This is not my ceiling
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
