I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
