my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay