Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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