Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO