just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
