its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
foreskin is a definite game changer
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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