Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
