Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You are a genius and a whore.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
