If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
