you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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