I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
