The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
