hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
