Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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