I wannas sexs uuuuu
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
if only i could text you this smell
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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