I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
