You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I met the friendliest cop last night
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
