if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
