I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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