this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
