All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
