found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize