He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
