dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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