you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
