4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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