This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
