so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
