first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
