i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
