I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
