saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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